How Mayonnaise Can Trash a Party

So, my guy friend is moving away. He's also going to go for another round of college. That's why he's having a going away party. A private event was made for it on Facebook. 
In the description for the party, it states:

"...This event is potluck style so bring your favorite dish to share, we all know how much R loves good food. (food tip: He is up for whatever as long as it does not involve mayonnaise haha)..."

This is how it went on from there:

P E

R doesn't like mayonnaise?

Unlike · Comment

• You and N F like this.
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  Jennifer Fulk  Mayonnaise is an evil condiment. tongue emoticon

  2 hrs · Like
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  P E  Mayonnaise is life

  2 hrs · Like · 1
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  C K  Is mayonaisse an instrument?

  2 hrs · Unlike · 5
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  Jennifer Fulk  Yes. It's an instrument of evil, a weapon that slowly poisons the minds and bodies of the innocent until it's too late. It's victims are hollowed out, no more than husks of what they used to be, left to be controlled by the viscous substance. And there we have it: The zombie apocalypse is not what it appears to be. We will be eliminated by mayonnaise by an alien mastermind. Only R knows of the dangers. Oh, the horrors he has seen.

  2 hrs · Like · 3
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  P E  I love mayonnaise

  56 mins · Like · 1
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  R C  Jen, that was beAutiful. We need to frame that

  30 mins · Unlike · 1
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  Jennifer Fulk  Lol Agreed! *copies conversation into blog post* *type, type, type, type*

  5 mins · Like

*now saved for looking back on* 

You can see how having a blog can be useful. Saving memories.... Sharing laughter.... *sniff* *crawls away* *weeps in corner*